I need to wipe my ass. Do you have any Slavery Flags?

Via Religious Ghostbuster:

Me: Hey I need some toilet paper, where are your slavery flags?

Store owner: You mean "Confederate Flags" and you aren't wiping yourself with one.

Me: No, I mean "slavery flags". It was flown for slavery and I need to wipe my ass after I shit so....

Store owner: I'm not kidding you will NOT wipe your ass with the Confederate flag!

Me: I'm not kidding I need to shit and afterward I need to wipe on something soft and useless.

Store owner: Get the fuck out of my store!

Me:! suppose toilet paper at McMurder's will have to do.

Seriously I'm referring to those things as slavery flags. It is more accurate than any other name.